Flowing

 If you know me, you probably know that I don't always flow too well.  Routine, schedules, and accomplishing tasks are my mission.  Allowing the day to just happen spontaneously, especially where work is concerned, is a bit of a challenge sometimes.  I go into most days with expectations of how I would like to see the day go:  with a clear cut plan.  It gives me a sense of control and predictability.  

This past week, I have found myself "flowing" more.  A planned bike ride date did not go as planned.  But the alternative was so much better than the original idea!  When the agenda changed, the result was adventuring on never before seen roads followed by a stunning trail ride.   Stone bridges, frogs and crawfish, rocks, clear water, and a shaded canopy on a very hot day was our reward.  Alongside us the entire time, flowed a beautiful, babbling brook.  A perfect reminder to go with the flow.  

Another flowing moment this past week involved a party I was super anxious to attend.  One that I had initially declined to attend at all.  But the day of the party arrived, and I decided to baby-step it.  Step one: "Yes, I will drive you to the party, but I am going to drop you off at the end of the driveway and come back home".  Step two:  "I am committed to going to the party just to say Happy Birthday, then I am going back home".  Step three:  "I will stay for 1/2 hour, but probably not any longer than that".  Step four:  All in! Turned out to be a super fun time including meeting new people, laughing, and dancing around a fire.  Breaking out of my comfort zone empowered me by challenging old, avoidant habits.  Sounds kind of silly, but I was proud of myself for allowing the day to unfold naturally.  All I had to do was show up and it just kind of took care of itself.  

Today at work, I flowed some more.   Leading/teaching several groups throughout the day sometimes causes me anxiety.  As a way to curb that anxiety, I like to go in to each group session with a clear cut plan.  Or two.  Its wise to have a Plan A and a Plan B so that if one is not going well, the other can be the savior.  Sometimes, I have even rehearsed what I want to say or how I want the group to go.  Today, I did none of that.  After having been off for a while and not knowing the kids too well, I decided to just see what happens.  No plan A, no plan B.  In fact, I had no plans at all.  And guess what?  All was just fine.  Fun even.  Sometimes the greatest lessons  happen during those unplanned moments where conversations and experiences happen naturally.   Both for the kids, and for myself.  Yes, flowing.  

One more example is this here post.  I didn't really want to blog tonight because the topics I have planned out  are either not inspiring for me or require a bit too much brain power that I don't have access to at the moment.  So, I just started to write and here I am flowing again.  I have even had to  suspend my own judgement on my writing and on my posts so that I am able to flow once again.  Tonight, I am writing, flowing, and seeing what happens. 

Don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for planning.   Though, when I  remember to just let life happen, it feels good, and good things seem to happen.  It isn't always perfect nor do I expect it to be.   Within the imperfect parts of life there exists a beauty that would otherwise go unseen, adventures that would otherwise go un-experienced, and lessons that would otherwise go unlearned.  

For now, I shall relish in the contentment that comes with allowing life to unfold on its own terms.  

Peace.