This is 50

 November of 2024, I turned that big number we all think is unattainable, or far too ancient,  when we are wee little ones.  But alas, the Big 5-0 has found me.  I made it I guess one could say.  Turning 50 had me reflecting on my life up until now, though now that I am in front of a computer, the words I once had in my head have since faded; trying to retrieve them is proving quite difficult.  Possibly a symptom of that age.

So what did turning a half century look like for me?  It's different for everyone of course.  For me, 50 came in quietly yet profoundly.  For starters, I worked on my actual Birthday.  Work that day just happened to be a day that I co-facilitate a grief support group.  One of the ladies in group caught wind of my milestone Birthday and made it special by bringing in some brownies complete with candles and whipped cream.  

On the home front, my lovely lady ensured that I felt loved and special.  She encouraged a Birthday Bash, but that just isn't my cup of tea, so we celebrated more quietly.  

 

This photo shows sticky notes that have 50 accomplishments I have achieved written on them.   Amy hid all 50 of these throughout the house for me to find as I go about my day-to-day business at home.  Three are have yet to be found still  two months later. 

Then, because we both like to stay home, we did a YouTube painting experience.  

Mine is on the right, hers is on the left.  Bob Ross makes it looks to easy, but working with acrylic paints is not such an easy task.  This was more about the process and the experience of creating rather than the finished result.  A beautiful reminder for year 50 and beyond.  It's all about the journey, not necessarily the destination.  And my partner on this journey with me is the best one a human could find.  

Also on my half a century milestone, I bought myself a brand-new car!  Never have I ever been able to do that before and my 50th year was as good a time as any.  My car is still being built and I should have it in about a month or so, but this stock picture is what my car should look like.  I splurged and got a lot of bells and whistles like a heated steering wheel and heated seats simply because I could.  You could say that my dad actually bought this car for me since I am using his money posthumously for this purpose.   

Fifty also got me out on ice skates.  

I do have osteoporosis so doing things that could easily lead to fractures are a little  unnerving.  Luckily I had the assist of a folding chair to help keep my balance while I skated around, though I did take one unassisted lap around our frozen lake.   I've been on skates before, but not for many many many years, and possibly not for many many more years.  My itch has been scratched. 

Fifty also ushered in a new era for me which is the era of being an orphan.  My dad died just two months prior to my Birthday, and of course my mom has been gone for just over 11 years now.  Being an orphan is a mixed bag of emotions.  On one hand, its really freeing not to have to worry about my aging parents for I know how that story ends.  It has ended.  On the other hand, it is a bit lonely not having my two pillars of strength to lean on when I may need it.  Even in my dad's weakened state, he provided me a lot of strength during some of my toughest moments.  There is no love like the love of parents which is truly unconditional and ever present.  

Working in hospice, and watching my family drop off one by one sure has me thinking about my own life history, my future, and my end of life.  As my lady, Amy, reminded me with those sticky notes, I have accomplished a lot in my lifetime: things like being a good human, being respectful to my fellow man, striving to be the best daughter, sister, niece, aunt, fur mom, friend, and partner that I can possibly be, among so much more.   None of that is perfect nor will it ever be.  

Entering the next 50 years of my life, I want to continue caring for myself in ways that fill up my spirit so that I can continue to care for those around me, for that is what truly gives me purpose.  Even at 50, I still have teenage-like mental health breakdowns that cause me, and those around me, great discomfort.  This is unnecessary.  The intensity can be remedied by basic self care on a consistent basis, and it is up to only me to ensure the quality of my next 50(?) years is what I want it to be.  

Hard time are unavoidable and naturally a part of living.  But overall, up to this point, my life has been beautiful, comfortable, and filled with so many simple moments of joy.   I have always lived a simple life, and a simple life I hope to always live.  

Cheers to the next 50 years!

 

A Job Not Done: Lessons Learned

 As a young teenager, I vividly remember preaching to my dad about why he should never pay somebody for a job that was not finished.  He did it all the time.  And jobs never got finished.  Never would I make that same mistake, right?  But adulting is hard sometimes, mistakes are made, and lessons are learned.

A few weeks ago, a tree guy was in the neighborhood taking down some troublesome branches and trees.  He was reasonably priced and seemed like a decent dude so I hired him to take down a bunch of overgrown and hazardous trees in my yard.  He would chop off the large limbs, stack them up neatly in a pile, out of the way, until he could come back and grab all the lumber.  Or so he said.  Well, he did come.  He did chop down some trees (Even the hammock tree, which he said he would leave...grrrrrr!).  The first part of the job was done.....and I went to pay him.  Why?  I don't know.  Because I am trusting and Believe someone will do something they say they will do.  I gave him his cash with his word that he would be back to collect the massive mess he left behind.  

Fast forward two weeks, several texts, several promises to come "tomorrow", one ominous blizzard approaching, and no word from Mr. Tree Guy.  Let it be known that in all of my texts, I was careful and cautious of my wording in case we ended up on Judge Judy...I didn't want to say anything that Judge Judy would scold me for.  I also made sure I made several references to having paid him so that that could not be disputed.  After all, I got no receipt and have no evidence of having even paid him since I had a load of cash at home (Bill paid me back).  So I was making my case for Judge Judy in text form (I think I would win!).  

Our yard is very soft.  Its not meant to have several hundred pounds of wood laying all over so this was very concerning, causing sleepless nights and frantic texts for him to come before the expected 20 inches of snow fell.  No word. 

So what does one do?  One comes home from work and watches Little House on the Prairie.  Well, poor pregnant Laura is tending the the farm during a drought when Manly (Oh how I hate that nickname!) was out of town earning a whopping $150.  Laura hauled buckets and buckets of water during a rare Minnesota heatwave in order to save her orchard.  

The wood in our yard was not going to move itself, and the tree guy certainly made it clear he was not going to finish his job.  So out I went.  Inspired by Laura....and my own anal-ness about having a tidy yard.  How in the WORLD am I going to mow in the spring time?!  

I hauled tons of wood!  Piled it in inconspicuous areas of the yard that would cause the least amount of damage.  Both to the yard and to the eyes.  Some of the pieces had to be hundreds of pounds, and those are the ones I rolled away best I could.  All the physical labor (two straight hours) helped to expel all the rage I was feeling from this situation.  Two neighbor boys did come by (dressed in crocks, shorts, and short sleeve t-shirts in the middle of December with a blizzard approaching) and helped a great deal.  They didn't last too long due to their attire and age 10 muscles, but they certainly earned their $20.  

Stone Soup.  In the Little House episode, Ma tells the story to the school children about Stone Soup....how a bunch of people can come together to accomplish something.  All the children went to Laura's to help her with her orchard.  And that is exactly what I experienced!  The neighborhood children came to help me out.  Together we got all the wood moved minutes before it started to freezing rain.  Something else to be thankful for.  

 In the midst of a crummy situation, beauty also exists.  A wonderful wife who is so forgiving for my errors in judgment and who supported me during my rageful time, neighbors who came together to help us out, and other neighbors who I know got our back when times are not easy.  Its heartwarming to see people pull together to help each other out and to celebrate what is good and true in this world. 

Lets not forget about Lessons Learned here.  So many lessons.  

One).  Never pay for a job that is not complete.  This lesson I have always known, but now I have learned.

Two).  Get a contract.  In writing.

Three).  Never pay in cash.

Four).  Get the guy's name.  I don't know his name or the name of his company!  What a fool!!  

Five).  Don't steal.  Sometimes I have this habit of stealing things from the store...like cat litter, cat food, cherries....Its always been justified that I am not stealing from a human, but I am.  Plus Karma.  I do not like this feeling of being taken advantage of.  Its gross.  Its not something I want to support.  Just be honest and real.  I bet if I acted more accordingly, Karma would also act accordingly.