My first few Mother's Day after she died were really difficult. I took those days to just be sad. Cry. Remember. Grieve. Then I got to thinking that I did not want to be sad on a day of such remembrance, and instead I wanted to honor my mom. Celebrate her! Of course, both things can exist, and they sure do.
One thing that I have adopted as a way to celebrate my mom is to brighten someone else's day with flowers. I used to buy my mom all of her spring flowers for Mother's Day so I am always sure to get myself a hanging basket in her memory as well as gift someone else with flowers. I try to pick someone who might also find this day to be a difficult one. The first year, I gifted flowers to a coworker who has a strained relationship with her son. The year after, another coworker who had recently lost her mom. Followed by another coworker who lost her mom to suicide. Last year, it was a male coworker whose mom died years ago. This year, I am going to bring flowers to my niece who has a strained relationship with her own mom. Its a perfect way to honor my beautiful mother and to keep her memory alive. To think of all the people she continues to touch even years after her death is pretty astounding.
Mother's Day is my own sacred holiday for just me and my mom. All the other holidays and significant days (like her Birthday or death day) has me checking in with all my family members to acknowledge both my mom's life and also our loss. But Mother's Day, I keep to myself. Quietly celebrating the woman who gave me life and helped me be who I am today. I miss her everyday.
Happy Mother's Day!
