Healing Through Love

This quote spoke to me on a level that gave me reason to pause, and in a way that provoked some motivation to do better.  It dawned on me.  I have a living, breathing entity inside of me that deserves to be taken care of.  Much the same way I take care of my beloved cats.  Much the same way I take care of a baby or child.  Much the same way I take care of drowning worms after a rainfall.   Not to say I haven't killed my fair share of insects and other such critters, but even then, I try my best to free the spider in the house rather than smush it dead.  So if worms and spiders are worthy of such care, how come the entity in my body is not?   Whatever this soul is, it chose to reside in this body.  I will admit that I haven't always been welcoming to it, but have, hopefully, come to realize it needs a welcoming and nurturing environment that only I can provide it.  

Not sure why this quote got me thinking, but once I realized I had a living, breathing being inside this shell, I figured I had better take care of it.  Not sure why I haven't thought of it like this in the past.  Its almost a no-brainer, really.  I've devised self care plans for myself in the past, and have been able to stick to them for a short amount of time.  But they say,  if at first you can't succeed, try try again.  So here I am trying again.   I have a plan in place to take care of whatever is taking up residence inside my skin and bones.  It chose "me", and it deserves better than I have been providing.  Basic self care needs of water, exercise and connection to the world in which I am existing is all it is, but it isn't always easy to achieve.  Life gets muddled and focus falls on things beyond my control.  My only real job in this life is to love this entity.   Once I start nourishing this soul, I can provide better for the other souls who are floating around beside this one, something I have not been very good at lately.  

The other day I opened up a Bible to a random page and read it.  It was all about coming to know God through Jesus.  I'm not religious; I don't know much about God or Jesus really. I can't tell you the chapter or book of which I read.   But I do know that it was a message from beyond myself, and I also know that Jesus is love.  So by loving myself,  I can come to know God on a deeper level.  

It is through love that heals.   

Facing Fears for Birthdays

 This year for our Birthdays, we opted for having an experience rather than giving gifts.  Inadvertently we ended up choosing activities that challenged us to face a fear of ours.  OK, so maybe not those life altering fears that get songs and movies, but fears nonetheless.  

Amy wanted a quiet, low key experience for her big 4-0 and she opted for a petting zoo!  So fun!  

How is this facing fears you might ask?  Well, see that llama there (or maybe that's an alpaca.... I don't really know the difference between the two)?   Llamas are notorious for spitting on people, and that is just not something either one of us want to encounter.  We have both been too afraid to approach llamas at zoos until this day.  The lady at the petting zoo ensured us that her llamas did not spit.  True to her word, we remained dry and got to pet and feed this furry little guy.  

When it was time for me to pick my Birthday experience, I opted to do an instructional art activity.   I have always had this belief that I am not creative nor can I do art.  These instructional art classes are kind of trendy right now, and I have been curious by people's finished projects they have posted on social media.  Certainly, I could not make a beautiful picture like they did...or could I? 

By Golly, I can!!  This is my painting.   It was a class of about 20 people all making this same picture so it was easy to look at the progress of neighboring painters, which is dangerous for me since I have a tendency to compare and criticize my own work.  Alas, I suspended my own self judgement and just let my own picture develop from my own brain and hands (and the guidance of our instructor).  

Side by side of my picture (left) and Amy's picture (right).  Of course, there are a few places in my picture that are not perfect or exactly how I imagined it.  However, it is a piece I am quite proud of.  A symbol to face fears, to allow imperfection, and to focus on what is beautiful rather than what is wrong.  This painting has so much beauty AND imperfection.  

And I created it!