Bookend Year

 Year 2023 was, what I am calling, a "bookend year".  In January of 2023, I got myself a new job.  It was a huge leap for me, and a leap I wasn't sure I wanted to take.  Now having been in my job for a little over a year, I can surely state that I have no regrets in leaving my old job.  My new job, working in hospice, has been wonderful.  Sure, I still get anxious.  Sure, I sometimes feel as though I am inadequate on what I do (after all I am still learning the job).  And, sure, sometimes I hate having to go to work.  However, my new job allows me to work at home most days, and the people I am providing support for seem to really appreciate even a 5 minute check in.  Learning something new and challenging myself outside of my comfort zone is proving to build parts of my self esteem that had been lost...or maybe forgotten.  My work environment is filled with positvity, love, and genuine concerns for the well-being of our clients as well as for each other.  My old job had that, too, but in hospice it feels a little less toxic, and a lot more patient centered.  The folks who work there seem to operate on a spiritual level that is above my own, which helps to elevate me as well.  Some days I feel that more than others. 

Then, in December of 2023, we got ourselves a PUPPY!  

Something that also brought with it some trepidation:  We've done this before and had a horrible experience from start to finish, Will the puppy bond with me?  Can I even take care of a helpless creature when I struggle to properly care for myself all the time?  A puppy is a lot of responsibility that affects spontaneity and freedom.  The dirt!  The smell!  The potty training!  All that and so much more.

However, getting Meeka happens to be just about the best thing that has happened to me since falling in love with my best friend 10 years ago.  She brings joy to me on a daily basis, is my co worker on days I work from home, my motivation to get out for walks, and a tremendous emotional support.  She keeps me out of the world of my head and into the world of the living. 

Though I have had to make a few personal adjustments.  For example, she won't let me wear headbands or hair ties as she removes them from my head just about as fast as I put them on.  She has left me about an inch of a king sized bed to sleep on, and I am forced to share just about all of my food that I eat.  Oh, and the cat box has to be kept extra extra clean because she reaaaalllllly likes cat turds.  But somehow, even her naughty behavior is cute and charming (except the cat turd thing....that is just awful).  

So, yeah, the year 2023 started out with a positive change and ended with a positive change.   And as I am sitting here writing this blog during my work day, with my dog sleeping in a sun spot, and my lady love downstairs, my heart is filled with gratitude.