Flowing

 If you know me, you probably know that I don't always flow too well.  Routine, schedules, and accomplishing tasks are my mission.  Allowing the day to just happen spontaneously, especially where work is concerned, is a bit of a challenge sometimes.  I go into most days with expectations of how I would like to see the day go:  with a clear cut plan.  It gives me a sense of control and predictability.  

This past week, I have found myself "flowing" more.  A planned bike ride date did not go as planned.  But the alternative was so much better than the original idea!  When the agenda changed, the result was adventuring on never before seen roads followed by a stunning trail ride.   Stone bridges, frogs and crawfish, rocks, clear water, and a shaded canopy on a very hot day was our reward.  Alongside us the entire time, flowed a beautiful, babbling brook.  A perfect reminder to go with the flow.  

Another flowing moment this past week involved a party I was super anxious to attend.  One that I had initially declined to attend at all.  But the day of the party arrived, and I decided to baby-step it.  Step one: "Yes, I will drive you to the party, but I am going to drop you off at the end of the driveway and come back home".  Step two:  "I am committed to going to the party just to say Happy Birthday, then I am going back home".  Step three:  "I will stay for 1/2 hour, but probably not any longer than that".  Step four:  All in! Turned out to be a super fun time including meeting new people, laughing, and dancing around a fire.  Breaking out of my comfort zone empowered me by challenging old, avoidant habits.  Sounds kind of silly, but I was proud of myself for allowing the day to unfold naturally.  All I had to do was show up and it just kind of took care of itself.  

Today at work, I flowed some more.   Leading/teaching several groups throughout the day sometimes causes me anxiety.  As a way to curb that anxiety, I like to go in to each group session with a clear cut plan.  Or two.  Its wise to have a Plan A and a Plan B so that if one is not going well, the other can be the savior.  Sometimes, I have even rehearsed what I want to say or how I want the group to go.  Today, I did none of that.  After having been off for a while and not knowing the kids too well, I decided to just see what happens.  No plan A, no plan B.  In fact, I had no plans at all.  And guess what?  All was just fine.  Fun even.  Sometimes the greatest lessons  happen during those unplanned moments where conversations and experiences happen naturally.   Both for the kids, and for myself.  Yes, flowing.  

One more example is this here post.  I didn't really want to blog tonight because the topics I have planned out  are either not inspiring for me or require a bit too much brain power that I don't have access to at the moment.  So, I just started to write and here I am flowing again.  I have even had to  suspend my own judgement on my writing and on my posts so that I am able to flow once again.  Tonight, I am writing, flowing, and seeing what happens. 

Don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for planning.   Though, when I  remember to just let life happen, it feels good, and good things seem to happen.  It isn't always perfect nor do I expect it to be.   Within the imperfect parts of life there exists a beauty that would otherwise go unseen, adventures that would otherwise go un-experienced, and lessons that would otherwise go unlearned.  

For now, I shall relish in the contentment that comes with allowing life to unfold on its own terms.  

Peace.  

 

Back at it

After a long hiatus, I am hoping to get back into blogging again. Its been so long, and I am out of practice, out shape, and out of brain power. In time, I am hoping to exercise all of those things and resume some blogging. Forgive this rusty post as I reach into the trenches to put words together in an attempt to make some sort of sense. Its been a challenging year. Personally. Nationally. Globally. Throughout the struggles, I kind of lost myself which has prompted me to reignite some of my passions, creativity, and hobbies. This is a start. Not sure where this will take me, but that is what a journey is all about, right? 

 So it is only fitting, that on this day, I attempt to spark my blogging interest again. You see, this is the one year Anniversary of the death of my beloved Tino. Tino is the namesake of this blog, the light in a dark time, and the epitome of love: even in death. One whole year without him, but not a day goes by that I don't think about him. In addition to his puffing needs, Tino had all sorts of funny quirks that could either make us smile or make us irate. He loved plastic bags! Like for real, he could sniff those plastic bags from a mile away. His favorite type of plastic were those flimsy produce bags and it was certainly taboo to place grocery bags on the floor while waiting to be put away. He would chomp those bags so fast! Pulling the bag from his quick little mouth was a feat; the more we pulled the bag from him, the quicker he would try to chomp it. Sometimes, we pulled the bag from deep in his throat as he was trying to swallow it down real fast. Bags are free to be on the floor these days. 

 More than bags, Tino LOVED coconut oil. This was his favorite ever! He would sit on the edge of the bathroom sink while Amy took a shower and just holler in his grumbly little meow until he got a lick of his delicious "cokey oil". He was relentless in his persistence. All it took was one little lick, and he was satisfied. Showers are a lot quieter these days. 

 Meal times also brought out his relentless persistence. One bite from each different component on the plate was all it took for him to be satisfied and let us eat in peace. It didn't matter what it was, he just wanted to be included to have a sample of whatever we were having. Chicken was probably his favorite snack, but he enjoyed just about anything. Meal times are a little different these days. 

 Shoulder rides! He loved riding on our shoulders and having rides throughout the house. His long, lanky limbs hung over the shoulder while he sniffed various objects on the walls. He could have ridden on our shoulders all day long had we let him. He also loved to hold hands or be touching skin. Often he would sleep up by head while my hand touched his. Purring all the while, of course. The most perfect lullaby. My shoulder is extra cold these days while my lullaby is silent. 

 He was always underfoot begging for food or love. He just wanted to be included in whatever we were doing. I would get so mad when I would trip over him! Tino had his own theme song that Amy gave to him. When he walked across the room, we would sing "ba dum ba dum, ba dum, ba dum ba dum", in a slow, low cadence that matched his slow meandering walk. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be able to sing to him one last time.

 So much more to say about him, but since I am blogging again, I will save some more for another post. 

 Though he can never ever be replaced, we are searching for another snowshoe siamese. A rare breed. I am eager to see what qualities are shared with my best buddy ever while coming to appreciate new and different quirks from my next furry friend. Well, that is a wrap for now. 

 Not the most poignant or cohesive of posts, but one that simply celebrated my Valentino.