Saying Goodbye

 My mom used to tell me a story about how she knew I was a sensitive person when I was watching a Tom and Jerry cartoon from a highchair as a baby.  I have no recollection of this, but apparently there is an episode where Tom and Jerry have to wave goodbye to a lion friend of theirs who is sailing away on a boat (or something like that).   Toddler me was crying/sobbing along with Tom and Jerry while proclaiming  "They will never see the lion again".  

I have always hated goodbyes.  They make me ugly-cry emotional.  The last day of Jr. high school was a hyperventilating sob fest (in my defense this was a time before cell phones and social media which made staying in contact with my friends a little more difficult).  Even simple goodbyes like leaving a gathering or work is awkward for me.  My brother has earned the nickname "Houdini" because he is known to just disappear from social engagements.  Though I am not quite that bad, I, too, have been known to just slip out so that I don't have to bid my farewells.  

So, when I was presented with the idea of having a going away party for work, I immediately turned it down by adamantly saying "no way!"  

Not only am I bad at goodbyes, but I also don't like being the center of attention.  My mom had to come fetch me from the comfort of my bedroom during my high school graduation party because I was holed up in there avoiding all the people. 

A going away party for myself is just about the worst possible circumstance I could find myself in.  But after giving it some thought, I have decided to have a small, simple goodbye.  

I need it for myself to honor the job...and the people...I have worked with, laughed with, cried with, wrestled with, for 24 years.  Its a big deal and one that deserves a proper goodbye.  Going to work in hospice, I am going to have to approach these emotionally difficult situations with goodbyes that are far more gut wrenching than leaving a job.  So approach I will.  

Watching a Barbara Walters special yesterday, there was a quote that said, "You never die as long as people say your name".  This brought about a little fear and sadness within me because people do not ever remember my name.   I will never forget my time on 3 MHU, and I am just hoping 3MHU does not forget my time there either.  In my personal life, I do not have many in my family who are younger than me to share memories and "keep me alive" once I am gone from this world.  My legacy will be in the lives I have touched through my work in mental health and now hospice.  All of the staff who I have worked along side for 24 years will have some sort of my influence just as I have theirs.  And with that, I know that some of what I brought to that unit will carry on which gives me some peace in knowing.  Even if my name is not remembered, my energy remains always.  

Scully Cat

 This post is about Scully Cat!

Not the best pictures because I am having trouble uploading the ones I want.  Also I am mad at her today so she will just have to settle for some sub par photos.

As I type this, she is crawling all over my lap, blocking my view from the screen, and laying on my arm to paralyze it from doing anything other than moving my fingers.  But those are not the reasons I am upset with her today.

See, Scully does not care about anything.  She will do as she pleases.  So this morning she woke me up by scratching at the bedroom door, which we keep closed to ensure better quality sleep.  For if we don't, Scully will walk upon our heads and perch herself on our sleeping bodies as though she owns us.  So our door is closed. In front of our door is a protective barrier for the carpet as Scully has tried to claw her way into the bedroom causing quite some damage to the carpet.  So, we have a heavy duty welcome mat, underneath an electric shock causing mat, held down by a large boulder.  Still, Scully manages to claw through that all to wake me up in the morning.  

In order to not positively reinforce me getting out of bed to feed her, I instead opened the door and squirted her with a squirt bottle.  She got doused today!  I kept squirting her and squirting her as she bolted around the living room like a little space invader target.  

So,  yeah, I am a little annoyed with her today.  

She does not respond to discipline.  So we ultimately just give up trying.  The only cat who is "allowed" on the table and counter is Scully.  We don't so much allow it as surrender to it.  Its a lot of effort to discipline for nothing.  She is a little naughty and an ultimate brat-cat much like Nermal from Garfield.

Poor Scully sometimes gets the nickname of "Garbage" because she is just an ordinary run-of-the-mill kind of cat.  Not as unique as our other two.  However, she is very endearing, gentle, and sweet.  She is the most friendly-to-human cat we have at the moment.  She gives good snuggles, on her terms only.  If she is snuggling in, and you happen to move....or breathe....wrong, she leaves.  She makes a great lap cat if you don't move or make any noises.  When she wants affection though, there is not much you can do but to give it to her.  She will crawl upon your shoulder, walk in front of your face, dance in circles on your lap until her needs are met.  

Scully is smart!  She learned how to do the high-five paw shake after watching Margie do it JUST ONE TIME!  Smart she may be, but she is also a very proud cat.  Going for stroller rides and doing dog tricks are beneath her, if you know what I mean.  You be an often find Scully sleeping in a freshly laundered basket of clothing or underneath a small table we have named “jail”.  

My morning anger with her has already subsided as she sat upon my lap purring the whole while I wrote this out.  She knows how to manipulate and act all cute to get in good graces.   

We love our Scully Cat and are very happy she is part of our family!