Just Because Its There

There are many different food items that I have banned myself from having in my house.  Those are the food items I will eat and eat and eat until they are gone.  Two days ago, I found a new self banned food.  Fruit snacks.  The generic Wal-Mart brand Smiles fruit snacks that is really just a ball of high fructose corn syrup.  They come in a box of 24 count.  This morning, after just consuming 4 of them for breakfast, I now have 3 left.  I'm no mathematician, but I believe that means I ate 21, yes 21, snack size bags of smileys in about 24 hours.  Hence, they are now banned.  I have no control over them. 

In addition to those fruit snacks, I have decided to put together a list of my self banned food items for that very reason.  Not in any particular order:

1.  Aforementioned Fruit snacks.
2.  Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal (that doesn't stand a chance).
3.  Lucky Charms (OK, most sugary cereals are banned, but these two are tops).
4.  Chocolate of any kind (only an unopened bag of chocolate chips is safe, and at that, its barely hanging on).
5.  Any kind of Halloween Candy except those orange and black peanut butter kiss things.  Those things are just gross and is the only candy that could survive longer than a year with me.
6.  Little Debbie Snacks
7.  Girl Scout Cookies (mostly Samoas)
8.  Cadbury Creme Eggs
9.  Cadbury Eggs (not the creme kind, but the delicious chocolate kind).
10.  Mini Robin's Eggs (ya know, the malted milk ball kind...YUM!).
11.  Cherry licorice Nibs.
12.  Peanut M & M's
13.  Oreos
14.  Carmel Corn
15.  And the biggest Banned Food Item........Dun Dun Dun......Ice Cream (though I have learned how to have it in the freezer for longer than a day.  Give it a week tops).

Now I am sure that list could go on and on and on, but I think you get the idea.  I'm also certain there are big ones I neglected to put on the list.  Grapes could have made that list because I eat them uncontrollably too, but since they are fruit, and kind of healthy, they are not banned.

Tums could have made the list as well.  Not because I need to eat them for indigestion (though you would think I would need them), but because I once ate them uncontrollably while at work.  Someone had a bottle of Tums, and I would eat one or two whenever I walked by the bottle.  I think I ate probably 12 Tums in one night.  No lie.  Just because they were there.

The Sacrifices We Make

 If you allow your furry companion to sleep in your bed, you know all too well the sacrifice you make for your own comfort all in an effort to not disturb your sleeping pet.  You know what I am talking about.  We consciously twist our bodies in all sorts of awkward positions in all hours of the night.  Ya know, the knee-chest-flip maneuver where you bring your knees carefully up to your chest, flip over, and return your legs to their original position.  All with the precision of a brain surgeon. 

My cats sleep with me, and I sacrifice my own comfort almost every night.  I have been too hot.  Not able willing to throw off my covers because the cats are tucked up all nice and warm.  I have been too cold.  Not able to pull my blankets up because the cats are sleeping soundly on the corner of the warm blanket.  I have held my bladder so as not to disturb all the kitty dream taking place around me.  And I have perfected the knee-chest-flip maneuver and perform it almost every night. 

And what would happen, God forbid, if one of the cats woke up?  Likely, they would open their sleepy eyes, look at me through their half open slits, yawn, and go back to sleep.  Or perhaps they would relocate, get comfy again, and return to their slumber.  Maybe, just maybe, if they are pissed off enough, they may jump off the bed and sleep elsewhere for awhile. 

They certainly don't show me the same courtesy when, at 5 AM, Tino is walking all over me, pulling my hair, stepping on my face, or performing one of his many antics.  Funny even at 5 AM.  From time to time, Milo will attack my foot, and when I move it away from him, he thinks its a game and attacks it even more.  Thankfully, I have broken Muffin of her constant licking my exposed skin or hair, but she reverts back to those old habits every now and again.  No, they don't have respect for my comfort when I am sleeping. 

So tonight when I snuggle under my covers, I just may be a meanie, and NOT do the knee-chest-flip trick.  Yeah, right.  I'll be doing that trick until my hips don't allow it.

Because I Can

For the past 3 days, I have spent most of my time in my pajamas.  Its been nice being off work, and since its a mild deep freeze, I have just hunkered down at home.  That means I have spent considerably more time in my comfy jammie clothes than I have in my uncomfy street clothes.  Never before in my life have I spent this much time in my pjs and it feels good!  Its been so relaxing having an afternoon bubble bath followed up by wrapping in my blanket with sleeves.  That's right, a snuggie, ya'll.  The reason I do this is simple.  Its the same reason a dog licks itself.  Because I Can.