Take Polly, for example. She does not belong to me, per se, but she joins us on many a walk. Spend just one minute with her and, you too, will soon discover that this dog is one big case of ADHD. Hop this canine up on some Mt. Dew and she would expend more energy than the Earth spinning on it axis much like Hammy, the nutty chipmunk, in Over the Hedge.
Polly has a human counterpart in Robin Williams as well.
Both have annoyingly spastic energy with a douse of comedic timing. We refer to Polly as a little comedian as she constantly makes us laugh.
One would wrongly assume a lengthy walk would tire Polly out. Instead, it revs her up. She bounds in the house ready to play some more. Like the Energizer Bunny, she keeps going and going and going and . . . .
Polly's diagnosis: ADHD (with an emphasis on the H)
Mania (or excessive happiness a la Robin Williams
in Patch Adams)
Rule out Psychosis
Then we have Tiki. Her human recipe is one gallon Marcia Brady, add one Tablespoon of Cindy Brady, plus a Splash of Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched. Blend well.
PLUS 
PLUS
EQUALS
Tiki is cute, adorable and innocent. Think of Cindy Brady asking "Thanta" Clause to help her mommy get her voice back so she can "thing" at "Christhmuth". How cute was that?
Much like Gladys Kravitz, Tiki sticks her nose in business that isn't hers resulting in a histrionic drama of epic proportions. Tiki's shrill yap is quite reminiscent of Gladys' equally shrill "ABNER!"
Marcia Brady's narcissism is evident in Tiki's doggie persona (Marcia also had a hint of histrionics as well). Tiki demands attention and covertly budges her way in to get the accolades she so deserves. She is beautiful and she knows it. Tiki takes serious ownership of her belongings just like Marcia treasured her prized trophies. Marcia wouldn't share with Jan, and Tiki makes it known she will not share her trophies either. Missy is probably secretly saying "Tiki, Tiki, Tiki!" You know, like Jan says, "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia".
Tiki's diagnosis: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Little Dog Syndrome
Oh, poor Missy is a clinical nightmare. She has all of the initials used in diagnostic labeling. Where do I start with this poor girl.
Her humanish counterparts are Eeyore, Droopy and Corky from Life Goes On. Obla Di, Obla Da.
I have heard it said that dogs are not stubborn. The quality of being stubborn suggests there is a willful deceit which dogs are supposedly incapable of. But Missy is the epitome of stubborn, or shall we say oppositional and defiant.
If Missy does not want to go for a walk, there is no way to force her. At times, she will refuse to even begin walking when we approach the trail head. She says to me with her doggie eyes:
"No, I don't want to go and you can't make me".
The more I insist, the more she resists.
"No, really. Go ahead without me. You don't really want me to join you. I'll just sit in the car. You'll have more fun without me anyway."
She is attention seeking in such a way that is self defeating. She enjoys hearing:
"Missy, we missed you on our walk. We wish you would have joined us."Her tail wags happily upon hearing this.
A friend recently described Missy as a "Bumbling kid with Down Syndrome". Rather, I see Missy as having qualities of autism. She has poor social skills and lacks the necessary tools to make canine friends. Choosing to be off doing her own thing instead of mingling with her buddies.
She also has incredible social anxiety. New people and new situations are hard for her, but once you win her heart, you'll have it forever.
Missy's diagnosis (in no particular order):
Chronic Depression
Boderline Personality Disorder
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder
Reactive Attachment Disorder
Down Syndrome
Autism Spectrum Disorder
Rule out Prader Willie Syndrome
Whew! What Disorders affect your furry friends?
Missy!!! OMG LOL. Prader Willy!!! hahahahahaha this is awesome.
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