Badge of Courage

My friend and I have reached that point in our friendship where, when talking on the phone, we feel obliged to share our various bodily functions with each other.  We belch for one another, we announce our farts, and, yes, we announce when we are on the toilet while chatting away innocently.  I may have crossed the line today when I confessed one of my self cares of the morning.....

***Disclaimer***
This definitely qualifies as Too Much Information.  You may want to stop reading here, especially if you're a guy.

Our phone conversation goes something like this:

Her:  "Guess what I just did?"
Me:  "Um....dropped a dookie with me on the phone?"
Her:  "No, I belched just for you".
Me:  "Thanks.  Guess what I did today?"
Her:  "NawIdon'tknow, what?"
Me:  "I FDS'd my Vag."
Her:  "What?"
Me:  "I FDS'd my Vag."
Her:  "What is that?"
Me:  "Feminine Deodorant Spray."
Her:  "Gross, why?  What have you been doing with it?"
Me:  "Its Old Lady."
Her:  "Its old....?"
Me:  "Yeah, its all dried up."
Her:  "Well why didn't you use Windex or something?"
Me:  "Um...."
Her:  "Oh, wait, did you say BADGE or VAG?"

'Nuff said.