I totally should have went to work today, on this, my day off. My day off which also happens to be Memorial Day. Memorial Day which happens to be holiday pay at work (double time and a half!), and which also happens to be crappy weather. Rainy, foggy, cold, and windy. Work called me on two occasions to go into work today and I avoided their phone calls both times despite the fact that I was on the call-in list.
Instead, I went to bed last night at 9 PM and woke up this morning after 9 AM. Actually I awoke much earlier, but once I heard the thunder, saw the wind and rain, I snuggled up more snugly in my bed and went back to sleep until I don't know when. I used to be a morning person, but lately, I am becoming more of a later morning person.
Once I awoke, that is, once I physically got out of bed, I ventured into the living room and turned on the TV where I sat for another few hours. Snuggled in with my bathrobe and pink blankie. Old movies from the 80's prove to be the perfect rainy day past time.
After I actually combed my hair and got dressed, (and by "dressed" I mean in a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Putting on a bra was questionable, but on it went), I drove to my mom's where I ate a nice Memorial Day lunch and beat her in 3 out of 4 games of Scrabble.
All the while with visions of dollar signs
going
down
the drain
inside my head.
All the while with guilty feelings as the "not-doing-anything-on-my-day-off" syndrome kicks in.
All the while dreading returning to work tomorrow.
Still, laying in bed listening to the thunder and rain with Tino snuggled up underneath the covers is worth every down the drain dollar sign. In fact, I loved it so much, I wish that I could do it again tomorrow. Enter that big adult word of Responsibility. Already this year I have used up more sick days than in my entire 13 year career at this job. And its not even June. So calling in is kind of out of the question as I would just sit home, do nothing, and worry about having called in. So in to work I will go.
Sometimes I hate responsibility.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Secret Things I Really Want to do, but Probably Never Will.....
There are some things in life that I would really like to try, but chances are I will never get the skill or the opportunity for most of them.
1). I want to draw. My whole life, I have been so amazed and a little jealous by those who can draw. People say I would be able to draw, too, if only I practiced. I disagree. Now that I am older, I think my drawing skills are impossible. Kind of like language. Use it or lose it, and I lost it long ago. A kid at work once gave me a step by step drawing manual for how-to-draw-a-stick-figure. My drawing skills have advanced since then to this:
So, yeah, to be able to draw a little more sophisticated would be nice.
2). I don't believe in having exotic animals as household pets, but I think it would be snazzy to meet that animal guy who makes appearances on all the talk shows, Jack Hannah. He'd let me pet a wild cat or hold a baby monkey. You know, one that won't tear my face apart. To feed any wild baby animal a bottle would be the cat's meow.
3). After watching Wipeout on TV, I have decided that I would like to try a Wipeout course. Not a televised version, but one that I could do so that millions of people don't see me making a fool of myself. Not sure why exactly I want to attempt something that has people doing unplanned back bends where their feet touch their heads, but I think giving it a try would be fun. Of course, I'd have to plug my nose whenever I got thrown into the the drink. Plus, it would be fun to say I survived the Big Balls.
4). Dancing. I secretly want to be on Dancing With the Stars. Only I am not a star so that remains a problem. I'd love to learn how to ballroom dance and shake what my mama gave me (which isn't much, or rather which is TOO much). Sure there are local classes that teach this stuff, but I don't have a partner to learn it with. Plus, my hands don't like to move at the same time as my feet so dancing is a huge challenge for me. I'd need a very patient tolerant teacher who could put up with my whining and moaning.
5). This is the one item on my list that could potentially become a reality. Acting. One of my favorite things to do is go to plays at our local Playhouse. Each play is outstanding and inevitably I leave there with such a lighter spirit that it inspires me to want to be a part of that feeling. Nothing in the spotlight, but just as an extra in the cast would be about the coolest thing. A small company dance number, a small company singing number, bows at the end of the performance, applause, the whole shebang. Hey, if I did a dance number IN the play, I'd kind of achieve my dancing wish as well.
When I make my first appearance on the stage, I'll let ya know.
1). I want to draw. My whole life, I have been so amazed and a little jealous by those who can draw. People say I would be able to draw, too, if only I practiced. I disagree. Now that I am older, I think my drawing skills are impossible. Kind of like language. Use it or lose it, and I lost it long ago. A kid at work once gave me a step by step drawing manual for how-to-draw-a-stick-figure. My drawing skills have advanced since then to this:
2). I don't believe in having exotic animals as household pets, but I think it would be snazzy to meet that animal guy who makes appearances on all the talk shows, Jack Hannah. He'd let me pet a wild cat or hold a baby monkey. You know, one that won't tear my face apart. To feed any wild baby animal a bottle would be the cat's meow.
3). After watching Wipeout on TV, I have decided that I would like to try a Wipeout course. Not a televised version, but one that I could do so that millions of people don't see me making a fool of myself. Not sure why exactly I want to attempt something that has people doing unplanned back bends where their feet touch their heads, but I think giving it a try would be fun. Of course, I'd have to plug my nose whenever I got thrown into the the drink. Plus, it would be fun to say I survived the Big Balls.
4). Dancing. I secretly want to be on Dancing With the Stars. Only I am not a star so that remains a problem. I'd love to learn how to ballroom dance and shake what my mama gave me (which isn't much, or rather which is TOO much). Sure there are local classes that teach this stuff, but I don't have a partner to learn it with. Plus, my hands don't like to move at the same time as my feet so dancing is a huge challenge for me. I'd need a very patient tolerant teacher who could put up with my whining and moaning.
5). This is the one item on my list that could potentially become a reality. Acting. One of my favorite things to do is go to plays at our local Playhouse. Each play is outstanding and inevitably I leave there with such a lighter spirit that it inspires me to want to be a part of that feeling. Nothing in the spotlight, but just as an extra in the cast would be about the coolest thing. A small company dance number, a small company singing number, bows at the end of the performance, applause, the whole shebang. Hey, if I did a dance number IN the play, I'd kind of achieve my dancing wish as well.
When I make my first appearance on the stage, I'll let ya know.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Really, I'm not a snob
Nearly 20 years have passed since I graduated from high school. Since then, I have kept in touch with a very select few, and they are about the only ones I remember. Not that I am a snob or anything; I just have a memory problem. And, frankly, high school wasn't that memorable.
Lately though, I have run into a few past classmates. I know this only because they brought it to my attention, "hey, I went to high school with you" they pronounce. "Uh, what's your name" says I. Its very uncomfortable. Usually after they reveal their name, I still can't place them.
To make an awkward situation even more awkward (did you ever notice that the spelling of the word "awkward" is awkward in and of itself?), I have been having run ins with past classmates at my job. For the average Joe, it probably wouldn't be a huge deal to run into an old acquaintance at your place of employment, but I work in a children's mental health hospital. Children and teens are admitted for things like suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts, or acting out behaviors. Whatever the case, its a matter of crisis.
Once a parent informs me that we were classmates, I find it odd to utter the obligatory, "how are you" since their response could very well be: "Oh, little Bobby here just microwaved our cat, then grabbed a knife and started stabbing his little brother with it while my boyfriend was passed out drunk on the couch and I was in the bedroom with the neighbor shooting up some heroin". So I am not sure what my etiquette should be in this situation.
And don't forget, I don't remember them. And they usually know it so I already come across as stuck up, and here I am in a position of potentially giving them advice on how to effectively give their own child a time out.
At least I must not have changed all that much if they still recognize me after nearly 20 years. Of course, I AM still wearing the same hairstyle........
Lately though, I have run into a few past classmates. I know this only because they brought it to my attention, "hey, I went to high school with you" they pronounce. "Uh, what's your name" says I. Its very uncomfortable. Usually after they reveal their name, I still can't place them.
To make an awkward situation even more awkward (did you ever notice that the spelling of the word "awkward" is awkward in and of itself?), I have been having run ins with past classmates at my job. For the average Joe, it probably wouldn't be a huge deal to run into an old acquaintance at your place of employment, but I work in a children's mental health hospital. Children and teens are admitted for things like suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts, or acting out behaviors. Whatever the case, its a matter of crisis.
Once a parent informs me that we were classmates, I find it odd to utter the obligatory, "how are you" since their response could very well be: "Oh, little Bobby here just microwaved our cat, then grabbed a knife and started stabbing his little brother with it while my boyfriend was passed out drunk on the couch and I was in the bedroom with the neighbor shooting up some heroin". So I am not sure what my etiquette should be in this situation.
And don't forget, I don't remember them. And they usually know it so I already come across as stuck up, and here I am in a position of potentially giving them advice on how to effectively give their own child a time out.
At least I must not have changed all that much if they still recognize me after nearly 20 years. Of course, I AM still wearing the same hairstyle........
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Hidden Treasures
Duluth is chalk full of special treasures and hidden gems. My friend, Beth, introduced me to my new favorite place in the whole world and its been here, in my backyard (so to speak), my entire life. What makes this place so special is that it is in the heart of the city, but feels like you are miles from nowhere. You'd never know that a local high school was just a few feet from this beautiful trail if it weren't for a few truant teens sneaking onto the trail for a midday smoke. Aside from that though, Tischer Creek has to be one of the most beautiful places in Duluth.
The beginning of the trail starts with descending a 100 year old staircase.
Bridges take you across the creek and provide you with awesome sights of cascading waterfalls. The sound of the rushing water reminds onlookers how powerful and mighty water can be.
My favorite place on the trail is a large rock jutting out over a pool that blends two waterfalls creating a third waterfall just below.
The entire hike is filled with beautiful, natural creations. The gushing rapids providing nature's purest concert. Its awe inspiring to think that people walked this same path over 100 years ago. Their spirits still present, not hauntingly so; more comforting.
Trees are magnificent and mighty. Some have succumbed to nature's wrath and have fallen. Depending on where you are in the path, you can look down and see the tops of trees below, or you can look up and see the base of the trees above.
Others provide super cool photo opportunities.
When the hike is over, you can't help but anticipate when you get to return for the next adventure at this spectacular creek. I'm so excited to show my friends this trail and experience their reaction to Paradise at the bottom of that ancient staircase.
Thank you, Beth, for showing me this awesome trail. A true gem. Both the trail and you!
The beginning of the trail starts with descending a 100 year old staircase.
This staircase takes you into a canyon along the creekside where each turn in the trail brings one breathtaking sight after another.
Bridges take you across the creek and provide you with awesome sights of cascading waterfalls. The sound of the rushing water reminds onlookers how powerful and mighty water can be.
 |
| On the bridge overlooking one of many waterfalls. |
The entire hike is filled with beautiful, natural creations. The gushing rapids providing nature's purest concert. Its awe inspiring to think that people walked this same path over 100 years ago. Their spirits still present, not hauntingly so; more comforting.
 |
| 100 year old path |
When the hike is over, you can't help but anticipate when you get to return for the next adventure at this spectacular creek. I'm so excited to show my friends this trail and experience their reaction to Paradise at the bottom of that ancient staircase.
Thank you, Beth, for showing me this awesome trail. A true gem. Both the trail and you!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Badge of Courage
My friend and I have reached that point in our friendship where, when talking on the phone, we feel obliged to share our various bodily functions with each other. We belch for one another, we announce our farts, and, yes, we announce when we are on the toilet while chatting away innocently. I may have crossed the line today when I confessed one of my self cares of the morning.....
***Disclaimer***
This definitely qualifies as Too Much Information. You may want to stop reading here, especially if you're a guy.
Our phone conversation goes something like this:
Her: "Guess what I just did?"
Me: "Um....dropped a dookie with me on the phone?"
Her: "No, I belched just for you".
Me: "Thanks. Guess what I did today?"
Her: "NawIdon'tknow, what?"
Me: "I FDS'd my Vag."
Her: "What?"
Me: "I FDS'd my Vag."
Her: "What is that?"
Me: "Feminine Deodorant Spray."
Her: "Gross, why? What have you been doing with it?"
Me: "Its Old Lady."
Her: "Its old....?"
Me: "Yeah, its all dried up."
Her: "Well why didn't you use Windex or something?"
Me: "Um...."
Her: "Oh, wait, did you say BADGE or VAG?"
'Nuff said.
***Disclaimer***
This definitely qualifies as Too Much Information. You may want to stop reading here, especially if you're a guy.
Our phone conversation goes something like this:
Her: "Guess what I just did?"
Me: "Um....dropped a dookie with me on the phone?"
Her: "No, I belched just for you".
Me: "Thanks. Guess what I did today?"
Her: "NawIdon'tknow, what?"
Me: "I FDS'd my Vag."
Her: "What?"
Me: "I FDS'd my Vag."
Her: "What is that?"
Me: "Feminine Deodorant Spray."
Her: "Gross, why? What have you been doing with it?"
Me: "Its Old Lady."
Her: "Its old....?"
Me: "Yeah, its all dried up."
Her: "Well why didn't you use Windex or something?"
Me: "Um...."
Her: "Oh, wait, did you say BADGE or VAG?"
'Nuff said.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Measures of Success
Today I had the privilege of taking the teens I work with outside after lunch. Working in a locked inpatient setting prevents us from taking the kids outside to burn off some energy or reap the benefits of Vitamin D from the sun. However, today I was working with the outpatient population so we ventured outside for a little basketball action.
One would think bringing six suicidal teenagers out on a makeshift basketball court that doubles as a roof above our parking ramp is contradictory if not dangerous. We haven't lost a kid yet. A few basketballs, yes, but all of our kids are accounted for.
Watching them run around, laugh, and have fun today brought me back to my own childhood just for a moment. Running and jumping used to be so effortless, and now it comes with great effort and a little bit of pain. I pined for the ability to run, chase after a ball, and not need to sit and recover before I made a basket. And still have energy to finish out the day as though I didn't exert myself at all. Now, going for a low key, hour long walk is enough to wear me out for the rest of the day.
Something about supervising suicidal teenagers-on-a-roof also made me realize how innocent childhood should be and how, for the kids I work with, it isn't. Running and laughing for these kids is sometimes as difficult for them as it is for me. Their depression and circumstance prevents them from having the ability to experience that sense of innocence that should be mandatory for all kids. Watching them, for just a moment, put aside their adult size problems, be a regular kid, and have genuine fun, brought joy to my over exerted, fast beating heart.
At the end of the day, I didn't lose any basketballs or any teenagers. And that, my friends, is a successful day on the job.
One would think bringing six suicidal teenagers out on a makeshift basketball court that doubles as a roof above our parking ramp is contradictory if not dangerous. We haven't lost a kid yet. A few basketballs, yes, but all of our kids are accounted for.
Watching them run around, laugh, and have fun today brought me back to my own childhood just for a moment. Running and jumping used to be so effortless, and now it comes with great effort and a little bit of pain. I pined for the ability to run, chase after a ball, and not need to sit and recover before I made a basket. And still have energy to finish out the day as though I didn't exert myself at all. Now, going for a low key, hour long walk is enough to wear me out for the rest of the day.
Something about supervising suicidal teenagers-on-a-roof also made me realize how innocent childhood should be and how, for the kids I work with, it isn't. Running and laughing for these kids is sometimes as difficult for them as it is for me. Their depression and circumstance prevents them from having the ability to experience that sense of innocence that should be mandatory for all kids. Watching them, for just a moment, put aside their adult size problems, be a regular kid, and have genuine fun, brought joy to my over exerted, fast beating heart.
At the end of the day, I didn't lose any basketballs or any teenagers. And that, my friends, is a successful day on the job.
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