A Resilient Woman

My Grandma was a very resilient woman who was faced with more tragedies than are compiled in a Lifetime movie. Her life wasn't a movie, though. She lived it. Not only did she live it, but she lived it with life and with joy despite the unbelievable circumstances that she endured. I have never really had a forum to outline her amazing life, and thought this is the most perfect place to do just that.

Unfortunately, I do not remember much about my Grandma as she died when I was seven. What I do remember are visits to the nursing home where she spent her last years as she coped with the debilitating effects of a stroke. I just finished having a history lesson with my own mother and am once again reminded about the lineage from which I come. One of strong and resilient women.

The time line may be a bit askew and I will do my best to outline her life as best as I can and as efficiently as I can. Her life is filled with more losses than one person should ever have to endure.

Before my Grandma married my Grandpa, she lost her own dad to a heart attack. In that same year, her brother died in a plane crash. He was on a practice flight, training to be a pilot. His name was John. Later, my Grandma would name one of her sons after him.

Grandma and Grandpa married and had 7 children. Marilyn, Kathrine, Shirley, Charlotte (my mom), John AKA "Jack", Bonnie and Randy.

Katherine married Eddie and had 3 children of her own. One tragic evening, Katherine and her husband were killed in a car crash by a drunk driver. Also in the vehicle was my Uncle "Jack" who was only 14 years old at the time. He had a love of baseball and was a terrific pitcher. In fact, earlier that day, he pitched a no hitter in a minor league baseball game. Jack suffered a traumatic brain injury and spent 3 months in a coma. Kath and Eddie left 3 young children ages 4, 3, and 1. My grandma took in and raised her 3 grandchildren after the devastating loss of her own daughter, and while her young son battled for his own life. Jack eventually pulled through, but not without permanent brain damage from the accident. He returned home where my Grandma attempted to raise him, along with her other children who still resided at home, as well as the 3 orphaned grand kids.

Eventually Jack would have to go live in a Group Home as his injuries were too severe and Grandma could not handle him at home any longer. Then another tragedy. Her husband (my Grandpa) died of a heart attack while he was still in his 50's. A year following that loss, my grandma had a stroke at which point the 3 orphaned grandchildren went to live in Arkansas with Marilyn, the oldest daughter who had 3 children of her own.

In an unbelievable and tragic circumstance, Marilyn, along with all the children, were in a car accident. This accident proved to be fatal for Marilyn. All of the children were severely injured and spent time in the hospital to recover from their injuries. So the 3 children who were orphaned by their own parents, were now orphaned a second time. They went to live with their paternal side of the family in Florida. Marilyn left behind 3 children of her own. The older two were old enough to enlist in the military so that is what they did. The youngest was only 10, and he resided with his dad.

Somewhere in all of that mess, my Grandma's sister, Evelyn, was murdered by her husband Dave. He killed her on Mother's Day.

So to recap, Grandma lost her Dad, Brother, Sister, husband, 2 daughters. And one son was permanently brain damaged. Through more natural circumstances, her mother also died of Alzheimer's disease. Intertwined within all of that, there are rumors of infidelity on my Grandpa's part as well.

Despite all of this, Grandma was "happy-go-lucky". She didn't have a pity party, and if anyone had a right to have a pity party, she did. She didn't succumb to depression. She lived. She continued to live until she died in her 70's after suffering a paralyzing stroke. She was a strong woman and I am proud to be her granddaughter. My only regret is that I never really got to know her. My memories of her are minimal. My 2 aunts also perished before I was born so I never got a chance to meet them either. For some reason, I feel close with my Auntie Katherine, and I think we would have had a fun relationship.

My family is filled with strong women. Giving women. Resilient women. When faced with adversity, I hope I can be even half as strong and resilient.